Finally learnt to sticky-braid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't laugh at my bald spots okay?
I SAID DON'T LAUGH!!!
 

Figured this space needed some colour, what with all the depressing papertissue images.

Neways, the first picture is a cake from my babies, we shelved my celebration to make a collage for my baby instead. I'm glad we did because it came out beautiful and he loved it, cards and everything. They sneakily went to get the cake while I was out to do a second photo print run heehee. Thank you so much everyone. I appreciate everything, really wasn't expecting the cake ^^

At night I met Meng Ting at BK. Ernest drove me home first before they went over to his place to grab a bottle before coming over. Cheryl and Shirleen managed to reach before midnight heehee. Afterwards they all left early because well, it was so damn boring. I can only blame my mot... Argh that's a story for another day. I really, really think I must have owed her something in my previous life. But anyways, thanks, you girls for making the effort ^^

The rest were from the next day out with Lings. The day started out horrible. Lings called before she came over and I sobbed almost uncontrollably (what IS it with crying and me these days?). Decided to think of it as a normal day instead of my birthday else I'd have been infinitely more upset. Ion's basement has aaamazing savoury snacks btw.

Rrright now I must go to bed or I'll never be able to wake up in time for breakfast with Lings. Have I mentioned that I haven't gone out-out the entire school holiday? Like not even a nice supper. Every single time I step out of the house was for more solemn reasons, tuition or school. I'm beginning to like my tutor more though. The old man I think I've ever mentioned. He is like damn racist! I'm sure Limei will get along really well with him lol.

Anyway, bb has been looking better, a lot more colour in his cheeks. He's also shaved and looks like a monkey! But so very adorable, baldness brings out his features. And everyone thinks he looks even nicer than before without the hair. Very very glad :DDD

Friends that disappoint, what to wear, losing my house keys, supper making me fat, my mother being crazy fucked up, packages arriving late, a failing cellphone, mouldy water bottles, incomplete homework, gossip girl videos lagging, library fines, being major late, not having enough coins for my bus fare, baby not waking up early to send me home, baby meeting me late even though i'm ALWAYS late in meeting him, baby taking forever to upload my pictures...

I'll do anything to have those as my biggest problems in life again.

Thank you all, for standing beside me all these while, giving me all the unwavering support you guys figured I'd need. Even though I've been so cranky recently, almost turning into my mother. Sorry, I couldn't help it all those times ):. And of course, everyone else who left little words of encouragement. Very very much appreciated ^^

Just try not to give me empty words of promises.

Religiously listening to Beyonce's Halo like you told me to.

And now I'm stuck, pretty much at a loss for words, because there is so much on my mind but nothing is coherent. I love you. I am angry. First words that surface. Angry that you could have kept such a grave matter from me for so long. Loving you so much more for trying to protect me from the truth. For having been so incredibly brave and shouldering that painful, painful load on your own. All for what? To make me Happy. To allow me the joy of being carefree on my birthday. Which sucked anyway because you couldn't be there with me. Sucks even more now that I know how much you were suffering then.

I never liked your blog. You always typed with glaring grammatical mistakes/spelling errors and besides, it's just plain wrong for a guy to own a blog. Last night I sat down and read your posts, all the way back to August last year when I first met you. The English was atrocious, but the message was clear. You love me, you want me to be happy, end of story. It was suprisingly foreign, that feeling I had re-reading your entries. Maybe because we exchanged I love yous so often the phrase diluted itself over time. Maybe because you always showed so much concern for me I tend to dismiss that care as incessant. I never appreciated the 'Sorry baby it's my fault', the 'hello baby I love you' or the stern, 'can you please stop watching tv go and study now' texts. Never as much as I do now. You'll never know what you've got till it's gone.

As much as you hate the fact that this affects me so badly that I'm incapable of concentrating on my studies and daily chores without bursting into tears at the gross injustice of it all, I guess this won't end for some time. I'm just hoping that in the mean time of said some time, nothing, absolutely no news comes forth. Because no news is good news, right? Or so I choose to naively believe. I need to stop that train of thought.

Why do terrible things only happen to good people? Loads of monstrous, revolting kinds out there.  Rapists, arsonists, human traffickers, family abusers, beasts that bring nothing but misery to people. And nothing happens to them. Plenty of them get off scot-free and continue to live their lives the same way they used to, inflicting pain onto others without being plagued by worldly troubles. Like illnesses. Or the problems of loved ones. They were blissfully granted the ability to be immune to the sufferings of the people around them. But you are unlike them. You, my darling, are an angel. Never unkind, never mean, always selfless, always giving. And yet there is nothing anyone can do about the unfairness you are subjected to.

Today you refused to take my hand. When I tugged on your fingers you balled them up into an even tighter fist. You decided to choose that moment to read the day's papers, setting up that dastardly barrier between us so you wouldn't have to look at me. You ignored me the whole time I was sitting in front of you till I started crying. Then you tossed a napkin at me without so much as a glance.  Even in all your pain you still made space for me in your heart. I don't know what warped logic you came up with in that mind of yours, but baby, we're not kids anymore. Treating me like crap isn't going to make me feel any less for you, especially not right now. I just wish you'd stop pushing me away when I show any bit of concern.

I want to be selfish one last time, and ask you to hang on, as agonizing as it is for you.
Please don't leave me.

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I love you, and you'll refuse to say it now but you don't have to.
I know you love me too.

You made mine.

Love you, favourite boy.

I'd count you.

Ikea, and then a mini karaoke session in the car at my carpark.
On hokkien songs ftw!!! I can only sing li si wa kim seng zui ai eh lang
Is that even right?
I lurrrve hokkien. Though I can barely speak it.

I've never been to kbox.
 

  In all my 16 years of existance, I've never felt so loved, treasured, or cared for by anyone. Ever. You showed me how someone can possibly love another person who isn't family, so deeply at that.You made me kinder. You've given me so much of you, so much I never imagined any person could sacrifice. You taught me to be a better person.

Thank you for everything sweetheart.

I won't lie and say I'm not affected by this sudden turn of events. Because I am. More than you can imagine. So much more I hide from you.

Please be strong. I know you have the courage to hold on.

I love you baby. So much.